Is successful parenting one part fear and one part love/support/understanding/nurturing/ patience/tolerance/encouragment/etc?
I loved my parents but feared them too. They both let loose with the spanking (my father) and vicious pinching (my mother) at a moment’s notice. I wouldn’t say this made me an obedient child per se, but definitely more obedient than the Little Nutball, who thinks nothing of shouting “I am not listening to you, Mommy, because of what you are saying is dumb!” The under-four-foot crowd in our house has no fear of either my partner or me.
At dinnertime, cats jump on the table and actually try to steal food off our plates as we eat. This never happened when I was growing up, even though we had cats then, too.
“Your kid needs to think you might hit her. Even if you aren’t ever going to, the possibility has to be there. And your cats need to be swatted off the table – how are you getting them off the table?!” demanded my friend. When I sheepishly replied that I picked them up, put them on the floor, and repeated this about a dozen times each night, she advised that I had to “Swat them! Swat them off the table with your arm, so they sorta fly through the air!”
The sad thing is, I have spanked my daughter. As a new parent, I swore I would never resort to corporal punishment, but I have done so a handful of times over the past few years. I have always felt terrible afterwards and have apologized, but then, my Little Nut never, ever has cried. She just gets very, very angry, and very, very quiet, and gives me a look that says “One day you will need a nursing home. And if you think you are going to the nice one with the physiotherapy pool, salsa dancing classes and low patient-nurse ratio, you are mistaken. You are going to the cheapest unregulated one I can find, and you’re going to be eating cat food.”
And then my guilt kicks in, and we all fall back into the pattern of defiant daughter, sense-of-entitlement-filled cats and beleaguered parents.
It’s tough for parents to keep up with things musical.
As a teenager, and in your twenties, and somewhat into your thirties, you’re surrounded by music, your friends are all deeply into music, you go to shows, talk to the clerks at record stores, etc etc.
But as one grows older, sadly, a number of things happen.
Your friends freeze; they calcify. Musically, they become frozen in a certain time-frame, a certain era, and cease to be interested in the new. So many of my friends have frozen in a certain time-frame, decided: “This is the music I listen to, nothing else is of further interest to me.” 1978. 1994. Whatever.
It’s tough when you have kids, I understand. You’re bombarded by Raffi and other boppy kid-stuff. Meanwhile, it doesn’t seem so important, anymore, to go to shows, hold up your lighter (actually, the Daddy heard people don’t do that anymore, it’s been declared illegal and a fire hazard– so they hold up their cell phones now, which is sick and wrong for so many reasons I don’t even want to talk about it), browse through the stacks looking for stuff, talk to the twentysomething clerks, find out what’s cool and new.
But it is important. Music feeds the soul. Music brings us together. Do not go gentle into that good night, people, where you just listen to the same stuff over and over again!
Ms. Daddy still listens to the Beatles. If she had her druthers, pop a Beatles CD in the deck, she’s happy as a songbird, singing along, tapping her feet.
No offense, Beatles fans, but I’m so sick of the Beatles, whenever the over-familiar strains start to float through the ether, I want to rip my head off and throw it out the window.
Meanwhile, this is a truly exciting time in music. Right now. 2009.
But how do you hear about what’s cool and not necessarily mainstream, if none of your friends really seem to care about what’s happening in music anymore?
It’s tough. It’s a bummer. You go to the music store, you flip through stacks of stuff you’ve never heard of, you buy something that seems like it might be good, bring the CD home (Mack’s still into CDs, I’m not much of a downloader), and it friggin’ sucks.
Another $20 down the tubes.
So I try to keep my ears open. How I found my favourite new musician is: I was browsing around in my favourite neighbourhood video store, Black Dog, and as usual it was taking me forever to make a selection. I hate choosing videos! That’s a nightmare, too. Sometimes I’m in there 45 minutes, an hour, and still come home with something that sucks…
Anyway, this time it worked in my favour, because after a while I noticed the music that they were piping through the speakers in the store.
It was beautiful. Just a guy with a guitar, singing, which normally Mack doesn’t like (if Mack’s frozen in any musical era, it’s old-school rap, 90s stuff), but just so haunting and melodic and sort of bitter and sad but also so sweet.
“What is this disc?” Mack asked the twenty-something guy behind the counter.
Internally, he may have rolled his eyes at the Daddy, but Mack could detect no flicker of contempt in his face as he wrote it down for me.
You may roll your eyes at me, too, when I tell you the album was Either/Or by Elliott Smith.
Actually, my bloggies, I suppose about half of you will be saying, “Duh, Dave, everyone’s heard of Elliott Smith.”
And the other half will say: “Elliott Who?”
He is poised on the knife edge between obscurity and fame; he occupies a curious niche between the two.
He’s probably most well-known for the fact his fellow Portlander (Portland Oregon USA) Gus Van Zandt chose a couple of his songs for the soundtrack for “Good Will Hunting.” One of them, the beautiful “Miss Misery,” was nominated for an Academy Award and he even performed it at the 1998 Oscars.
Which was weird. He looked like a street musician who’d wandered onto the huge, cavernous stage of the Oscars by mistake.
He performed, if I’m not mistaken, after Madonna. Here’s this guy, the opposite of slick, in a weird, ill-fitting white suit, strumming his guitar and singing in his beautiful but quiet and whispery voice.
I felt nervous for him, even watching him 10 years later, on You Tube.
But he pulled through it fine. And Either/Or (named for a Kierkegaard treatise: Smith was a buff, apparently) has blown me away. It is my ambition to amass a collection of CDs in which every song is good, in which there are no duds.
Sounds easy. You try it. But Either/Or definitely qualifies. What a beautiful piece of music. After a couple of spins, Mack scampered out to the record store and immediately bought, at high cost, four more Elliott Smith CDs.
They’re all great. Smith’s is sort of a sad story. Drugs and alcohol, and in the end it would appear he died of self-inflicted stab wounds (though his girlfriend was in the room at the time, they were arguing, some think it may have been her hand on the handle of the blade: she maintains she went into the shower and heard him scream and came out and he’d done it).
But the music lives on. The music is exquisite. I don’t know if, five years after his apparent suicide, his fan base is growing or shrinking.
But it’s definitely grown by one: me.
And p.s. another way to keep up with what’s going on out there, musically, is by tuning in to kcrw.com. It’s a Santa Monica-based college radio station that broadcasts on the internet. Their DJs have beautiful musical taste, hardly talk at all. They’ve discovered all kinds of artists who later go on to more mainstream success, e.g. Beck and Feist.
If you’re interested in that sort of thing at all, tune in. It’s free. Get some headphones or a set of speakers for your computer.
I listen to them all day long. They play fantastic music all day kong, selected by their incredibly talented team of crack DJs. And it’s all free.
Contrary to popular belief, kidneys are not the only place where stones form. Stones can be formed in the tonsils and they are called ‘tonsil stones‘ or tonsilloliths. One thing is certain, if these stones are not removed or cured, it is a guarantee for a life time of misery. But before you try to know how to stop them, you need to understand them in detail – that way, you can permanently eliminate those stones easily. So, let’s probe this illness next.
Tonsils are two bumps of tissue which are located in the back of your throat. They are a part of the lymph system and produce lymphocytes, which are white blood cells which help the body to fight infections. The structure of the tonsils is such that it has nooks and crannies on its surface. This causes food, mucous, debris and other materials get trapped in these areas. Over time they get calcified and resemble a hard pebble or stone, hence the name ‘tonsil stones’. Most sufferers of tonsilloliths are those who suffer from chronic inflammation of tonsils.
While small tonsil stones may not be readily visible, larger stones can be seen in the back of the throat as a clump of white material. Most sufferers of this condition will have one or more of the following symptoms.
* Bad breath – The stones are primarily responsible for extremely bad breath and are the sites of repeated infections. This problem of bad breath causes acute social embarrassment to the patient. Imagine people you are talking to reeling from your bad breath. Slowly people will start avoiding you.
* Sore throat – Most tonsilloliths can cause pain. When it is accompanied by an infection, the pain could be worse. The presence of a tonsil stone could make you constantly aware of a lump in the throat.
* White debris – They may be visible in the back of the throat as a white lump. However, it may not always be visible as it could be hidden in the folds of the tonsils. It can be detected by CT Scans or MRI’s.
* Swallowing – Depending on its location on the tonsils, the tonsil stone could cause difficulty while swallowing, often accompanied by pain.
* Ear pain – Since there is a shared nerve in this location, tonsilloliths may cause ear pain, even though the stone and the ear are well apart.
* Swelling – Tonsilloliths could cause the tonsils to become inflamed. It may lead to the obstruction of the throat.
Tonsil stones prevention and treatment are important to ensure that the patient is properly diagnosed and treated. If the inflammation of the tonsils is chronic, the doctor may advise surgical removal of the tonsil. The other course is to administer antibiotics. Post recovery phase of tonsillectomy is painful and it will take at least four to five weeks before the pain completely abates. When antibiotics are used, the infection and swelling may be temporarily relieved, but sooner or later it will recur.
However, here is the good news: A scientifically proven natural remedy that can help banish them forever. You can check to find it out.
In this article I am going to be speaking about my experiences with the Lemon Juice Cayenne pepper detox. Before I ever did this diet, I had heard of it, but it seemed a bit like a fad. This opinion was not helped by all the fake colon cleanse weight loss ads that I saw everywhere I looked – but these were for a different product. When I did try it, though, I had a lot of gains and felt considerably better.
The idea is that this natural colon cleanse eliminates the toxins that have accumulated within the colon, from a number of different sources. For instance, the water that you drink probably is contaminated by chemicals from industry, pharmaceutical products, and even small quantities of chlorine (bleach) added to kill germs.
As you can imagine, these toxins are not very good for you, but the body does have ways of getting rid of them. What this detox diet plan claimed is that there is an accumulation of solid matter in the gut that can trap these toxins, and this has to be eliminated.
So, the detox is done by fasting for several days (between 2 and 30), avoiding all food and using a drink made with lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. It was this “going without food” thing that put me off at first – it didn’t sound like fun! But the logic of it is quite sound – if you are getting rid of toxins from the gut, you need to make sure it is empty while you are cleansing it.
There were some intense reactions that I got while the detox cleansing diet was eliminating the toxins – I got rashes, headaches and very bad moods – I thought I would have to quit after the first day, but I luckily found out how to stop these reactions, and then it was quite easy.
The Lemon juice cayenne pepper diet helped a lot – I noticed that I felt a lot more energy, my skin was clearer, and I got rid of some terrible intestinal cramps that I sometimes used to get. I did it for about 10 days – I have since been told that the gains are better if you carry on for longer, so I plan to do it for longer the next time. All told, I think it’s the best colon cleanse thatI have ever tried.
I also found out that most people who try to succeed with these detox diet recipes give up after the first day. This is a real shame – but I know why- the detox symptoms are pretty bad. Luckily, there are ways to stop them – I’ll be sharing them with you in the future!
In this video is one lady’s idea about how to do the cleanse – I did not do it this way myself, but it’s still useful information, particularly about how the different ingredients work.
Astragalus is one of the main ingredients in several FlameEz’s remedies. It is viewed as one of the most important herbs in traditional Chinese medicine and has been recognized as a superb and potent immune system tonic by modern researchers.
For more than 2,000 years, Astragalus has been used to strengthen the body as a whole. Traditional Chinese medicine utilizes Astragalus in the treatment of numerous ailments, including lung, liver, kidney and heart diseases. In western herbal medicine, Astragalus is primarily used for enhancing metabolism and digestion.
Today, it is widely used clinically to prevent and treat diabetes, upper respiratory tract infections, immune suppression, nephropathy, and Psoriasis, as well as cancers and viral infections.
The active constituents of Astragalus consist of polysaccharides and flavonoids. It also contains numerous amino acids, trace elements, and various other components, such as Astragalus saponin I-II, astragalosides I-IV, and soyasapogenoside. Identified amino acids include daucosterol, choline, betaine, folic acid, nicotinamide, and linoleic acid.
Based on published scientific and clinical research, Astragalus:
Increases white blood cells and enhances production of IgM*
Increases the production and maturity of blood cells from the bone marrow*
Increases the basal metabolic rate and cAMP*
Decreases the amount of protein present in the urine*
Promotes urination and disperses swelling*
Promotes the discharge of pus and speeds healing*
Helps to reduce blood glucose and relieve wasting and thirsting syndrome (diabetes)*
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Ahmed MS. et al. Treatment of idiopathic membranous nephropathy with the herb Astragalus membranaceus. Am J Kidney Disease. 2007;50:1028-32.
Li S. et al. Preparation and suppressive effect of astragalus polysaccharide in glomerulonephritis rats. International Immunopharmacology. 2007;7:23-8.
Cho WC. et al. In vitro and in vivo immunomodulating and immunorestorative effects of Astragalus membranaceus. J Ethnopharmacology. 2007;113:132-41.
Taixiang W et al. Chinese medical herbs for chemotherapy side effects in colorectal cancer patients (Review). The Cochrane Library. 2007, Issue 4
Li RJ. et al. The immunotherapeutic effects of Astragalus polysaccharide in type 1 diabetic mice. Biological & Pharmaceutical Bulletin. 2007;30:470-6.
Cho WC. et al. In vitro and in vivo anti-tumor effects of Astragalus membranaceus. Cancer Letters. 2007;252:43-54.
Zhang BQ. et al. Effects of Astragalus membranaceus and its main components on the acute phase endothelial dysfunction induced by homocysteine. Vascular Pharmacology. 2007;46:278-85.
Xu ME. et al. Effects of astragaloside IV on pathogenesis of metabolic syndrome in vitro. Acta Pharmacologica Sinica. 2006;27:229-36.
Ko JK. et al. Amelioration of experimental colitis by Astragalus membranaceus through anti-oxidation and inhibition of adhesion molecule synthesis. World Journal of Gastroenterology. 2005;11:5787-94.
Wu Y. et al. Hypoglycemic effect of Astragalus polysaccharide and its effect on PTP1B. Acta Pharmacologica Sinica. 2005;26:345-52.
Shao BM. et al. A study on the immune receptors for polysaccharides from the roots of Astragalus membranaceus, a Chinese medicinal herb. Biochemical & Biophysical Research Communications. 2004;320:1103-11.
Cui R. He J. Wang B. Zhang F. Chen G. Yin S. Shen H. Suppressive effect of Astragalus membranaceus Bunge on chemical hepatocarcinogenesis in rats. Cancer Chemotherapy & Pharmacology. 2003;51:75-80.
Hi! I am new and I’m not sure if I am posting in the right spot. I would like to ask for feedback in regard to my manifestation of financial prosperity.
I have been trying to manifest financial prosperity for eight years. I have manifested some, I recently found a job making just under $1.00 more and hour, I also found a part-time job recently, doing something I like very much. My question has to do with signs from the Universe, receiving what appear to be very obvious signs. Please let me know if I am posting in the right place.
This is a wonderful website, I wish I have more computer time.
Your comment is fine here Penguin296.
I do have a few suggestions for you. Do with them what you like. ;]
1. Define what financial prosperity means to you. Does it mean making $100,000 a year? or $40,000 or $800,000?Does it mean having multiple streams of passive income? Does it mean being your own boss and not being in danger of being fired? Does it mean owning your cars and home outright? Or simply, just being out of bad debt?
Define exactly what financial prosperity means to you right now. (Your definition will change as time goes on and you can always revise it, but you need to have a specific vision of what it means today.)
2. Assess how well your thoughts, feelings, and actions are in line with your vision of financial prosperity. This can be difficult to do, so one technique is to visualize life as if you have already achieved financial prosperity. Visualize how you would think, feel and behave? Are you thinking, feeling and behaving that way now? If not, then make the change.
Another example, would be if you wanted a new BMW 750i automobile. Imagine, that automobile coming out of the factory. Personify the car, give it a brain and feelings. Now what would that BMW 750i think about having you as its owner? Would it be excited to have you as an owner because you take great care of the car you have now, and you love it and like driving it? Or would it look at the way you treat your present car and your attitude toward it, and be saddened by the thought of you as its owner? If so, then you know exactly what changes you need to make.
3. Resolve yourself to following the shortest, easiest path to your goal. Whatever that may be. Use your feelings and energy level as a guide, and allow yourself to take actions that on the surface appear to take you away from your goal, but feel right. Trust yourself.
Finally, I want to make a little point about money. Money is a tool for facilitating trade, and nothing more. It makes it easier for people to exchange things of value between one another, and that is it. Without the exchanging value part of the puzzle, money is worthless. So in my opinion, if someone expects to receive money without wanting to exchange something of equal value for it, they are doomed to fail. Or the money they do get, won’t actually buy them what they really want (happiness, joy, and peace.)
The Law of Attraction states that you get what you think about and I believe that. Esther and Jerry Hicks tell you that if you raise your consciousness to the right level, what you want will come to you at record pace no matter what that is. And I believe that. And I also believe that the quickest way to raise your consciousness is by focusing on creating value for others.
Focusing on creating value for others in ways that make you feel good and energize you.
Do that and you will be on the shortest route to financial prosperity. Take your focus off the money, take your focus off finding a job that pays a dollar more an hour. Instead, put your focus on the end result of creating value for other by doing something that energizes you and makes you feel good.
I will take care to safely express how I feel, and recognize the signs of stress and burnout. I will take care to tell someone when my thoughts turn dangerous. I will take care to remember to take my medications, go to all of my doctors appointments and to keep asking for help.
I had quit a job that doesn’t leave me time to recover from illness, I’ve kept up to date on my medication and told my doctor everything about how I feel and my thoughts (I’ve been to her so much I think she must be getting tired of seeing me!) I have an appointment at the Hospital for a specialist that I’ll be going to, and I have a very supportive boyfriend that has been my confidante, and he makes sure that I do take care of myself (ie. eat something healthy everyday, get to bed at a decent time etc.)
I’ve been suffering from depression, anxiety (both of which are hereditary), and most recently, stress and burnout. I’ve lost my very well paying job because I’m not eligible for a leave of absence because I was still on probation; I needed it because I was sent to the hospital and they told me I needed 2 weeks of stress leave. Also my depression has been getting worse where my thoughts of harming myself and others have increased, and all that has been happening so far is that I’ve been prescribed more medication and/or increased doses of the medication that I already have. I also feel useless because I can’t work because of my burnout and I don’t have any energy to do anything at home because my depression leaves me feeling lethargic.
I’m writing this intention to remind myself of the things that I need to do to make myself feel better, and to remember the New Years’ Resolution that I made to myself (To take better care of myself)
I am not an expert but I am 59 years old. I have gone through all your conditions and survived happily.
Main reason I survived is I am a believer in our LORD JESUS.
I do not wish to go further on this as I do not know you. Please follow the following steps and they will help you.
1. Volunteer as a means to give life to others, mainly all those strangers who need your help desperately. Join an organisation and support even in a small way in cash, kind and time. When you give life to others, you get good life all your life. Real happiness is from giving.
2. Forgive all unconditionally and forget all those hurts.
3. Dress well, smile and make friends by being a friend.
4. This is a mental condition and do not accept it but always laugh a lot which is an antidote to many illness.
I see you rising from the burn-out! I see rainbow-colored flowers blooming along your path… I see you encouraging others who suffer the same illness you overcame. I see you receiving finances from from new sources — your hands are open and the universe pours out its abundance on you!
Your illness does not define you. You are bigger than your illness — infinitely bigger! You are unique being, a “one-of-a-kind” who happens only once in the entire universe, and the CREATOR made you to be perfectly you!
I’m so glad you have a loving boyfriend to support you. Please reach out when you need it! There are many people who would love to help!
On a practical note, I have wrestled with depression for a long time. As mundane as it sounds, I think omega-3’s really help me. Google “omega-3 and depression” and you’ll find lots and lots of info. In France, it’s not even considered “alternative medicine,” omega-3 therapy is totally mainstream. (If you’re vegetarian, you can get omega-3 from flaxseeds. You can get a coffee grinder, to use only for flaxseeds, not coffee, and keep a fresh supply in your fridge.)